THE CRIMSON PIGSKIN e-LETTER
SIGNING OFF DAY
Reiterating his desire for all his fans to feel peace and love, one world renowned British celebrity will feel much more peaceful and loving if admirers stop sending fan letters and requesting mail-in autographs. FoxNews.com reports former Beatle Ringo Starr has decided to call it quits on signing any more items sent to him by his loyal fans. The report goes on to state Starr will be disposing of anything mailed to him for his Richard Starkey (Starr's real name) as of October 20, 2008.
The sixty-eight year old drumstick wielding phenom (not to be confused with the guy who won the drumstick eating contest at the fair) cites, via video clip on his website, he has "too much to do. So, no more fan mail. Thank you, thank you. And no objects to be signed, Nothing. Anyway, peace and love, peace and love." Fox continues, Starr's voice starred (no pun intended) in a 1991 episode of the Simpsons during which he said, "They took the time to write me, and I don't care if it takes 20 years, I'm going to answer every one of them."
Starr's decision must be a bummer for those with dreams of having him ink an album cover for them. The only known methods to get an item to Starr in time for him to sign are the Concorde or Mr. McFeeley's speedy delivery from a Mister Rogers re-run. What a difference forty-five years and a haircut makes.
66 REASONS
Rust-colored shades are appearing on the hillsides of
Well said Larry! Thank you for your contribution to the 66 Reasons segment of the CPEL. It's a privilege knowing you follow your favorite teams and gain other invaluable information from the CPEL.
URGENTLY WAITING
When a loved one begins to show symptoms they may not be feeling just right and the Thursday office hours of the family physician have come to an end [physicians, dentists or other healthcare professionals besides the cast of E.R. who work via tele (British for television) on Fridays are worth their weight in gold.], it's time to get them to the after hours clinic. Arriving before the clinic opens can be a good thing. It can also be a time consuming thing.
What must have been half the city was lined up outside the last bastion of health restoration in the area. The mob looked irritable and exhausted in the kind of way only ill people can be irritable and exhausted. Previous generations called it suffering from illness and fatigue. It meant being just plain sick and tired. The healthy half of town was headed to Sunday dinner.
After check-in, there's always some kind of music being piped into the waiting area where the folks fortunate enough to have minor symptoms get to wait a little longer and that's only right when there are true emergency cases to be dealt with first. Hello! Good to see you here,…please excuse refraining from a handshake because HIPAA (and Howie Mandell) prevents anyone from knowing what one may be catching from another patient so maybe later on for that hearty hand clasp. OK? OK.
Don't touch anything! Those bottles of hand sanitizer on the check-in desk are there for a reason. Signing in (before Starr's cut-off date of October 20th) gives the words poison pen a whole new meaning. Familiar strangers, if not familiar symptoms, does a waiting area make.
Strains (pun intended) of "I've Got You Under My Skin" are heard wafting over the infirmed and the trusty caregivers present. Then when the irony of the song title hits, a familiar name rings out over the flipping of magazine pages and the noisy deposition of mucous into various cloth and paper hankies. YES! That's the name everyone's been waiting to hear. The nurse is ready!
Weight, temperature and blood pressure are taken. "Allergic to anything? (Yeah, waiting.) All the rooms are full so go back out into the waiting area and sit 'til it's time". Yikes! What kind of person would have the nerve to take over your assigned seat? Did they apply for squatter's rights? Did they use the hand sanitizer?!? Just the germs on that seat handle should be enough identification for them to pass it on by. Flip you for the chair in the corner. Didn't see anyone there when we came in.
Then, just as seat and backside are becoming reacquainted, the name is called again and the doctor rushes into the exam room. "What's going on with you today?" "Here's a script." "You're all set!" Back out into the sun and fun.
The half of the citizens who were at Sunday dinner, are now keeping traffic from progressing to the nearest pharmacy. It's a race to see if the pharmacist can get the paper before the ink is completely dry. "That'll be a half an hour."
Carrying the prescription bottle overhead, like a shiny new trophy, the sick and the well ride away into twilight. About the time they make it home the sick one feels much better and the caretaker has the sniffles. Don't worry, the Urgent Care Clinic will be open another two hours,…
The Hurricane still hasn't made it into the top 25 nationally, even after Saturday night's 37-31 win over Southern Methodist University in
This weekend, the UTEP Miners would like nothing better than to tunnel under the hopes of TU fans and relieve them of worrying about being ranked. Saturday's game against Texas El Paso kicks off at 7pm CDT. The construction near Chapman Stadium lends itself to tunneling but Tulsa Coach Todd Graham will have the big wind ready to play in an impressive fashion just like he has for each home effort so far.
Razorback fans have to be ecstatic the team has shown a pulse just in time to travel to
In one of only two of five games picked correctly by CPEL last weekend, UT lost to
As tough as things have been in
In what had to be the pleasant surprise game of last weekend, OSU beat a good
Defeating the number three team in the land 28-23 is no small feat for any team. CPEL has maintained if
It was a great victory for the entire program with one interesting twist. Head Coach Mike Gundy spent an entire second half
This weekend OSU hosts Baylor. Fuggetaboutit! Cowboys 56, Bears 30.
A Red River Rivaly gone way wrong for Sooner fans was on display Saturday afternoon on the floor of the Cotton Bowl. After a smooth start, the Sooners faced the first real adversity the team has met this season and the Longhorns fed off of that, getting better and better as the game went on until they just took the game from
OU's problems on defense began when middle linebacker Ryan Reynolds was scraped off the field with a season ending knee injury. A fake punt which landed the Sooners approximately a foot and a half short of the first down marker and UT quarterback Colt McCoy playing a flawless game, reminiscent of when Vince Young led the 'Horns sealed the victory for the burnt orange. Needless to say, this was the third missed pick for CPEL last weekend. Oopsey!
It would take a good memory to float back to a game in which there were better athletes on both teams. An instant ESPN College Football Classic, the outcome was in doubt until there were six minutes remaining in the game. sMack Brown did a fine job preparing his team for Sam Bradford and OU's offense even though
http://promo.espn.go.com/espn/contests/theheismanvote
One vote can be placed per person per day. The ongoing results of the voting are shown when a vote is cast. Enjoy!
The Sooners host Kansas on Saturday, beginning at 2:30pm CDT. Not sure what a Jayhawk is but it is fairly certain it wasn't the kind of hawk making lazy circles in the sky around the time of statehood. Their coach is an interesting guy and a very good football coach. His knowledge of offensive strategy may also be helpful for anyone who's interested in attacking an all-you-can-eat buffet. The Owen Field crowd welcomes KU's Mark Mangino back to the sidelines.
About the middle of the second quarter when memories of the Cotton Bowl have slipped away, the Sooners will think about only being number four in the country and have something to play for. Yes Sooner defense, football is worth playing again. Oklahoma 35, KU 28.
THE PERCENTAGES
Three naughty teams delivered a 2-3 weekend to CPEL. That brings the season total to 21-4. That's a decrease of 12% from last week or 84% overall for all those unshaven, weathered orange tiger Hunters out there.
Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!
Carlos
THE CRIMSON PIGSKIN e-LETTER
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