Vol 11, Issue 3 THE CRIMSON PIGSKIN e-LETTERWednesday, September 10, 2008

Vol 11, Issue 3
crimsonfish@juno.com

THE CRIMSON PIGSKIN e-LETTER

WAS HARVEY LEVIN RIGHT?
One Cincinnati “former” player who wasn’t on the field in Saturday’s game at Oklahoma was Ben Mauk. Mauk, a transfer from Wake Forest was the Bearcats’ starting quarterback during the 2007 season. During his freshman year at Wake Forest, Mauk was injured and had originally requested the NCAA grant him an additional year of eligibility as a result of his injuries before he arrived at Cincinnati. After five such requests and five denials by the NCAA, Mauk decided Harvey Levin was right and rather than taking matters into his own hands, he would pursue the matter in a court of law.
Regarding the current state of affairs in Mauk’s case, ESPN.com reports, "Despite being a model student-athlete [and person] for the NCAA and despite having earned the NCAA significant revenues, the NCAA has wrongfully, arbitrarily and capriciously denied Mr. Mauk's request to participate in a fourth year of athletic competition for reasons completely beyond Mr. Mauk's control," the lawsuit states.
Of course all of this activity was going on when CU played OU Saturday. Perhaps Mauk took note when Cinci’s current starting quarterback, Dustin Grutza (gessundheit!) was carried off the field with a broke n fibula after the Sooner defense gang tackled him. Foxsports.com reports Grutza is looking forward to returning to action in three to four weeks. Likely he is looking forward to returning to Big East Conference play after his visit to Oklahoma.
PAC-10 REFS SHENNAN-AGAIN
It’s like the fun-loving Zach said on Disney Channel’s Suite Life of Zach and Cody, when he was asked if he and his twin brother Cody were going to stop all their mischievous shennanigans,…he replied, ”No,…we plan to shennan, again”. It seems the PAC-10 officials have been tuning to Zach’s wisdom based on another controversial call in the BYU-Washington game Saturday in Seattle, Washington.
Apparently, this season, NCAA officials have chosen to crack down on “celebration penalties”. A celebration happens when a team member is so elated by his performance or that of a teammate, he “throws the ball into the air” or does a TD (no, not Tom Dirato) dance in the endzone or causes the game to be delayed in any way, shape or form after a score or other outstanding play. After the infraction, a yellow hanky is tossed onto the field by one of the game officials and a nice penalty is walked off against the kicking team either before the extra point is kicked or assessed on the ensuing kick-off. The goal of such a rule is to keep teams from displaying poor sportsmanship, taunting or rubbing in a score or sack of the quarterback after the fact. Anyone who caught the WAY overplayed Dr. Pepper tele (British for television) commercial with the hefty lineman busting what seemed like a never-ending move in the endzone after scoring a TD (no, not Tom Dirato) understands why victory dances should be banned from the sport indefinitely.
In this particular case, the Washington Huskies scored a TD (no, not Tom Dirato), late in the contest against Brigham Young, pulling to within one point at 28-27. As Foxsports.com reports, when Washington quarterback Jake Locker tosse d the ball into the air in delight at the possibility of being tied with BYU, the officials bounced a yellow hanky onto the turf and a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty was marched off before the extra point was kicked. BYU’s special teams unit blocked the extra point and gave the Cougars the 1-point win. The call clearly cost the Huskies a chance at a tie in regulation time and a shot at winning the game in overtime but in this author’s humble opinion, had the game been at Oregon (sour crimson grapes, sour crimson grapes, sour crimson grapes), UW would never had sniffed the remotest possibility of overtime.
This isn’t the first time a PAC-10 officiating crew has been caught in the crosshairs of mean ol’ Mister Controversy. Of course the Huskies began to howl in protest at what they believed to be a muffed call by the officiating crew but,
[continued from Foxsports.com] “Dave Cutaia, the Pac-10 coordinator of football officiating, disagrees. [as follows] ‘The rule seems pretty cut and20dried,’ Cutaia said, according to a report in the Seattle Times. Cutaia was referring to the rule which states that a player can be penalized for an unsportsmanlike act for ‘throwing the ball high into the air. I can’t say the official is incorrect if he’s following the rule,’ Cutaia said, according to the Times. ‘Let’s say the rule just said you can’t celebrate or taunt — that would be a different story. But the rule is pretty clear that you can’t throw the ball high into the air. Coach (Tyrone) Willingham runs a great program and I know Locker is a great kid, but unfortunately that’s what it says in the rule book. I don’t know what else to say,…I can see people being angry about it,’ Cutaia told the Times. ‘No official wants to make that kind of call at any time. But I don’t know what to say because the rule is pretty clear. …Maybe the problem is that it’s there,’ Cutaia said of the now-controversial definition of unsportsmanlike conduct.”
Doubtless, the purple and gold faithful are saying “Say it ain’t so Dave,…Say it ain’t so!” It happens to the best of them. This time it happened to the Huskies. Who will be next?,…
CELEBRITY LOOKALIKE
This just in from the CPEL’s everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask department. Hollywood movie producers could ask Dakota Fanning to read food labels on the big screen and it would be a hit. They are definitely onto something having her deliver deadpan lines about schedules and discipline in motion pictures The Cat in the Hat and Uptown Girls, the latter of which includes co-star Brittany Murphy.
Network t elevision was cycling through various movies this weekend and in a stunning moment of observation, the similarities were as plain as day. The late Heath Ledger’s Joker character is a dead ringer for Murphy’s character. It’s eeeeeerie how much they look alike. If the two pictures were superimposed, it would look like the Joker with a dishwater blonde 80’s hairdo. Although Christian Bale didn’t bound onto the screen in his signature Dark Knight suit, wielding a plethora of superhero gadgets, one would have thought he was right around the corner on his one minute it’s a Batmobile, now it’s a Batcycle vehicle.
Based on sheer volume of product, it’s a toss-up as to which actor spent more time having their mugs spackled and decorated. Could “good” make-up and “bad” make-up on this scale, meeting somewhere in the middle be a mere coincidence? And which one is wearing the good make-up and the bad make-up? You decide. Aren’t you glad you asked? And just in time for Halloween.
WHAT’S THAT SOUND?
That rumble you hear coming from the general direction of Oklahoma City is the Thunder! The National Basketball Association has finally named the new professional basketball team in Oklahoma City. This is very exciting for most sports fans in the Sooner state which sold out game after game while acting as surrogate fan base for the aquatically challenged and displaced New Orleans Hornets a couple of short seasons ago.
When the post-Katrina all clear sounded, the Hornets returned to the “Big Easy”. Then Oklahoma City’s NBA-hungry fans and city fathers clamored for more pro hoops action. It just so happened, the Seattle Supersonics franchise was shopping for a new place to attain mach speed. After a drawn out period of wrangling and taxing and facility improvement, the Seattle hoopsters are now calling the Oklahoma City Ford Center home.
This is great for sports in the Oklahoma market. Ironically, the Thunder’s October 13, exhibition game versus the Houston Rockets is at the new Bank Of Oklahoma (BOk) Center in Tulsa. Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady’s first Thunder storm will be on Tulsa Time. Don Williams would be enraptured. Oklahoma City NBA fans should be.
TULSA
Speaking of Tulsa time, the current record at the intersection of 11th Street & Harvard Avenue is 2-0. The temperature is off the charts because the Golden Hurricane is on fire. At the sound of the tone, Captain ‘Cane will be blowing past another Conference USA opponent at a stadium near you. As the quintessential Hurricane fan, the yellow, porous, absorbent one Spongebob Squarepants was quoted as saying, the Tulsa “party switch is in the ON position!”
With no serious challenges on the schedule ‘til late October, Tulsa is on a roll. The Hurricane after two games is averaging 50.5 points per game. Putting up numbers like that over an entire season could make many fans forget how great the TU offense was last year when it was run by local football hero, quarterback Paul Smith. Coach Todd Graham has to be ecstatic about the results but being the disciplinarian he is, he won’t stop looking for more from his team.
Saturday night in Denton, TU’s hopes for a win were never in danger as they mowed over the Mean Green to the tune of 56-26. TU is taking the weekend off to celebrate and look forward to remaining ten games on the regular season schedule. Great start Hurricane!
ARKANSAS
The Hogs won by the hair of their chinny chin chins Saturday at Louisiana-Monroe, 28-27. It appears this team, without its Heisman candidate running back and with its new coach, fresh from the NFL, likes a close shave just like the old roadside Burma-Shave ads. There are some big bad wolves on the Southeastern Conference schedule but for now, their record is 2-0 and a win is a win. This weekend, the Razorbacks need to pack Little Red Riding Hood, Mother Goose and Shakes the Clown (He might be the only one with enough courage to move Bevo’s “tail outta the way and look the situation straight in the eye”, to quote former President and Texan Lyndon B. Johnson) if necessary for their 2:30pm CDT appointment with the Texas Longhorns.
UT’s quarterback, Colt McCoy, is garnering quite a bit of press in this early season. While U of A’s teams seem to play their very best against the stiffest of competition, defeating Texas will be a very tall order, especially on the road. It was a different Arkansas team which ran away with the game the last time the two teams met in Austin but if the ‘Horns make enough mistakes, the Hogs may be able to pull it out. The CPEL isn’t recommending anyone hold their breath. Texas 38, Arkansas 12.
TENNESSEE
Tennesse Volunteered to be idle last weekend. That’s a good thing since they were still recovering from the 1-point triple overtime loss to UCLA the previous week. One note the CPEL didn’t get to was the fact former UCLA quarterback Rick Neuheisel is now the head coach of the Bruins. Neuheisel’s well documented indiscretions at the University of Colorado and Washington University were as commonplace as wins for both programs during his stints at each location. The west-coaster fits right in in Los Angeles and if he can keep his nose clean, UCLA fans are in for an extraordinary adventure into winning.
Back to UT,…Tennessee has a coaster this weekend when they welcome the University of Alabama-Birmingham to Johnny Knoxville’s (pronounced NOX-VULL by true southerners) Neyland Cathedral at 11:30am CDT. UT is going to roll the UAB Blazers like a Big Daddy’s sandwich vendor at Bud Wilkinson House. Tulsa beat his outfit by 33 points two weeks ago. Rocky Top 55, UAB 5.
OKLAHOMA STATE
Now that the Orange Power Rangers are all lathered up following a 56-37 win over Houston’s Cougars last weekend, there will be more cat and mouse football this weekend when the Bears of Missouri State, formerly Southwest Missouri State, visit T. Boone (domestic natural gas) Pickens Stadium for their annual trip to the far side of the woodshed. Whooping up on Washington State was nice but how ‘bout a primetime non-conference game to spice things up?
Still suffering from Wash Burn (35-27 losers last week) UMS fans find out Toby Keith was right,…they Shoulda Been a Cowboy. Mike Gundy and company name their score in this mid-September whitewashing. T. Boone U. 61, UMS 40. Orange clad fans, grinning from ear to ear and lined up like construction pylons on I-235 North exit the stands to the strains of Willie, Waylon or one of the boys. Kick-off is at 6pm CDT.
OKLAHOMA
Cincinnati hung around for a while before things got ugly at Norman Saturday afternoon. When Grutza20bit the dust with the broken leg, things went from bad to worse for the WKRP listeners as the Oklahoma Sooners won their second game of the year by a score of 52-26. The Sooners had been placed on “upset alert” last week with Cinci’s court proceedings in regard to Mauk churning in the background but it didn’t seem to bother the ‘Cats on the field because they maintained their spunk to the end, scoring on OU’s scrub defensive team to get their final six points as the clock was nearing all zeroes.
Now, on to the distasteful business of the Sooners and their old friends the PAC-10 officials. Well, it’s a convoluted tale, riddled with lousy officiating and scandal. Who could forget not just one but two terrible uses of yellow hankies at Eugene, Oregon during the 2006 season? It was enough to make Seattle radio psychologist Frasier Crane pull his hair out. When CPEL contacted Crane for comment on the upcoming game, he was quoted as saying,…”I’m listening”, then he went into a dramatic diatribe which included ramblings about not wearing white after Labor Day. His brother Niles Crane was not available for comment.
ADVENTURES IN NAUSEA
The PAC-10 crew, which officiated that game, soon scattered like a covey of quail afterward when the Sooner Schooner scared them up. In a Twilight Zonesque circus-like series events which would curl the hair in Rod Serling’s nostrils, the aftermath of the “Oregon Debacle” as it is now called in Norman, Oklahoma, included letters from OU President David Boren, calling for vindication of the Sooners’ valiant young competitors and a nearly Howard Hughesish vanishing of the head referee who insisted the bad instant replay rulings on the infamous plays on the field would stand.
Taking into consideration the above paragraphs outlining the PAC-10 official’s stellar (yet controversial) job at the Washington game last weekend, Sooner fans are hoping to God the crew that refs this weekend’s game against the Huskies reacts with slightly less confusion than a box of puppies at a fireworks show. Is there some unwritten code stating anything which happens west of New Mexico has to be loaded like a baked potato with shocking TMZ bacon bits, teeming with nitrates which are not fit for man or beast? Seems like it from here.
Good luck Sooners. May the force be with you. You’re gonna need it. A young defense takes a giant leap toward manhood and OU squeaks by as refs stumble around with walkingsticks and dark glasses. Sooners 31, Sled Dogs, Harvey Levin and their little Cheating Refs too,…28.
THE PERCENTAGES
Last week the CPEL picked four-for-four correctly. This brings the season tally to 8-1. That’s 89% for all those internet surfers out there who are still looking for the Bears’ website by typing Southwest Missouri State into their search engines. If you think you’re confused, j ust think you could be a PAC-10 ref (heh, heh, heh).
Thanks for reading and have a great week!
Carlos
THE CRIMSON PIGSKIN e-LETTER


____________________________________________________________